Reef Kugies June 9, 2000 to Sept. 23, 2009: ‘As sweet as they come’

His family, fellow students and teachers miss Reef Kugies very much.

His classmates at Mariners Elementary in Newport Beach gathered for an impromptu memorial on campus Tuesday, remembering the sandy-haired fourth-grader for his uncommon depth of empathy for his fellow students.

Friendly. Helpful. Courageous.

Those were just some of the qualities they used to describe 9-year-old Reef, who died Sept. 23 of complications from foot surgery.

“He was as sweet as they come,” said Mariners Principal Pamela Coughlin. “He always went out of his way to make sure everyone else was OK.”

Reef was born with one leg shorter than the other; it affected his ability to walk. Last week, Reef went in for corrective surgery at Children’s Hospital of Orange County, Coughlin said. While recuperating from the operation, which apparently was routine, Reef was asked to stand up so a doctor could look at his cast, the school’s principal said.

Reef collapsed and fell backward into his father’s arms. A roomful of doctors scrambled for the next hour to try to save the boy, but he died shortly before midnight, Coughlin said.

The Orange County Coroner’s office said Tuesday that an autopsy has been done, but the release of a cause of death is pending further investigation.

Reef’s family could not be reached for comment.

His friends spent part of Tuesday afternoon at the school sharing memories of Reef.

One student said she saw Reef approach some kids on the field who were making fun of each other.

“Reef went up to them and he told them that it wasn’t right to make fun of somebody,” she said. “He knew what was right and what was wrong.”

Another of Reef’s classmates recalled when she started attending Mariners after moving here from England.

“She said, ‘Reef was one of the only people when I first got here that didn’t make fun of my voice,’” Coughlin said, referring to the student’s English accent.

Children are contributing their time and allowances to help pay for Reef’s funeral expenses. One kid’s lemonade stand has already raised more than $400, students said.

When Reef broke his arm this summer, he was invited to a classmate’s poolside birthday party. Because he couldn’t swim with his cast, he opted to help the girl’s mother prepare for the party, cheerfully asking which chore he could help with next.

Reef also had a malformed hand that he was unable to use. But he worked hard at learning musical instruments and playing sports, his classmates said.

An avid soccer player, Reef focused on the game itself, rather than winning or scoring the most goals. That attitude rubbed off on other players, students said.

His classmates also talked Tuesday afternoon about traits from former UCLA Coach John Wooden’s “Pyramid of Success,” used around the country as a character-building tool in schools. Wooden’s great-granddaughter attends Mariners, and the basketball legend has spoken there before.

Reef loved the Pyramid, and used it as a guideline for daily living.

Mariners has begun a program where each trait will be depicted in a mural on campus. Two already are painted on school buildings.

Reef’s classmates selected “Team Spirit” as the trait that best exemplified Reef; a plaque in memory of the boy will be installed on the Team Spirit mural at the end of the block of fourth-grade classrooms, when it’s painted later this school year. A memorial tree also is planned.

In his former classroom Tuesday, one classmate told the others how sad she was that she won’t be seeing him around anymore.

“But where do we still have him?” the teacher asked.

In unison, the kids all thumped their hearts.

Services

A memorial service for Reef will take place at 3 p.m. Sunday at the Environmental Nature Center, 1601 16th St., Newport Beach. Attendees are asked to wear white.

In His Name

Reef’s mother, Jennifer, has created the Reef Kugies Memorial Fund, which will honor children from his school who demonstrate traits from the Pyramid of Success.

To make a contribution, send it to the Reef Kugies Fund, c/o Schools First FCU, PO Box 11547, Santa Ana, CA 92711-1547.

Overheard

Below are several classmates’ thoughts and memories of Reef Kugies.

“He never made fun of anybody if they did something wrong, or accidentally said something wrong.”

“In third grade, he would always be all smiles.”

“He didn’t rub anything in people’s faces. If he got an award, he said, ‘Maybe you’ll get one next time.’”

“He liked to play handball a lot, and he was really good at it.”

“He was always competitive and he wasn’t a bad sport, so he was always fun to play with.”

“He wasn’t afraid to make someone else happy, when other people were afraid to walk up to somebody.”

“When I first came here, he just walked up to me and said, ‘Hello, my name is Reef. What’s your name?’ … That just made my day.”

“He was never in my class, but I always thought he was one of the best friends in our class. He always helped everybody.”

“He was always nice to everybody, and I was proud to be his friend.”