Comments & Curiosities:

Our time here is short. I don’t mean in this life. I mean in this column. We are tight on space today, so I have been told to be short, brief, to the point, concise, succinct and above all not redundant. But it did get me to thinking.

How short is short here in the land of Newport-Mesa? I will tell you, but we have to work fast. Shortest restaurant name? That’s too easy — A Restaurant. It used to be The Arches; now it’s A Restaurant, although I’m never sure how to write it.

Speaking of writing, how about the shortest short story ever published? It’s “El Dinosaurio” (“The Dinosaur”) by Honduran writer Augusto Monterroso.” Ready? Here it is: “Cuando despertó, el dinosaurio todavía estaba allí.” “When he awoke, the dinosaur was still there.” That’s it. But here is my question. Can you get it in hardcover and paperback, or just paperback?

Shortest store name in Fashion Island? Y-3. According to their website, Y-3 is “…a collaboration between renowned Japanese fashion designer Yohji Yamamoto and the authentic sports brand Adidas.” Have no idea what that means, but there are only two Y’s in Yohji Yamamoto. Who is the third Y in Y-3? Someone out there must know.

Shortest name at South Coast Plaza? It’s a photo finish between D&G; and H&M;, although I have to give the nod to D&G; for obvious reasons.

The shortest nonstop flight from John Wayne Airport? Las Vegas, at one hour and five minutes. You should go. They’re dying there. They’ll be really glad to see you. They’ll still take all your money but they’ll be really nice about.

The shortest nonstop flight in the entire universe? It’s on a Scottish airline called Loganair — Flight 353 from Westray to Papa Westray. Not to worry, I had no idea either — they’re islands in Scotland. I guess Papa Westray is bigger. How long is Loganair Flight 353? Take a guess. Nope, you’re way off. It’s exactly 1.72 minutes long, which is just under two minutes. How is that possible? Not a clue. Couldn’t they just go by boat?

I can tell you this, though. On a two-minute flight, you better stay out the way of the drink carts and if you have to use the restroom, you are going to have to boogie. If you need something to read, I would pass on Vogue and Vanity Fair, but see if they have “El Dinosaurio.”

Shortest wine label in Newport-Mesa? It’s on the spectacular wine list at the Balboa Bay Club’s First Cabin restaurant — an Australian pinot called 428 S.

By the way, not only is the Bay Club’s fully fabulous Oktoberfest feast in full flower, but it has items with really long names on it, like “kalbsrahmschnitzel” — seared veal medallions in a mushroom cream sauce with buttered spatzle. Sigh. Pair the kalbsrahmschnitzel with some 428 S pinot noir and you have the long and the short of it.

Shortest movie you can see this weekend? At 1 hour 21 minutes, it’s a dead tie between the rerelease of “Toy Story” and “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs,” which I think should win an Oscar for its title alone. They just beat out “Zombieland” with Woody Harrelson, which is 1 hour and 22 minutes.

The shortest film ever released to win an Oscar? “The Critic” by Mel Brooks — an animated short that was four minutes long and won an Oscar in 1963. The longest film ever made? I was sure it was “The English Patient,” but it’s actually “Berlin Alexanderplatz,” by the German filmmaker Rainier Fassbinder. How long was it? Fifteen and a half hours. Yikes. How long can you live on popcorn, Raisinets and Diet Coke? No one knows, but that’s one way to find out.

I believe that is it then. The shortest things in Newport-Mesa…plus a few long ones. If you’re flying to Papa Westray make sure you go before they board, and if you see a sequel to “El Dinosaurio” anywhere, let me know. I’m dying to know what happens to the dinosaur now that he’s awake. I gotta go.

PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays. He may be reached at ptrb4@aol.com .