Comments & Curiosities:

Yes, it’s true. It is, once again, the most wonderful time of the year — Christmas, Hanukkah, the holidays, winter solstice, just pick one.

And as always, finding the right gift can be an issue, this year a little more than most. Just because the state is imploding, the global economy is tanking and we’re facing years if not decades of misery doesn’t mean you can’t find the perfect gift. You just have to be a little more clever and a little more careful.

Should you worry? Should you stress? Please. Don’t make me laugh. Ha. See? You made me laugh.

Don’t worry about a thing, you little elf, you. We are here for you, as always, with the 2009 edition of the Official Certified Peter B. Holiday Gift Guide. The Peter B. Guide is the only one you’ll ever need. Read it. Carry it. Never go near Fashion Island without it.

Lesson one: With everything that’s going on this year, the watchword is “value.” You need to stretch your dollar, buy wisely, waste not, want not, a bird in hand, a stitch in time, a pig in mud, all that stuff.

If you are a female person buying for a male person, remember that guys love toys. I would go with the Icon A5 Sports Aircraft in the Neiman Christmas Book.

He will be totally frazzled over this one. Yes, $250,000 is a little spendy, but do you remember the watchword? Value. Not only do you get the little two-seater plane for a quarter mil, but you get a custom trailer, a dashboard dock for your MP3 player and “his and hers” flight training! Can you beat that? I don’t see how.

According to the Neiman Christmas Book it’s “…the perfect way to float through the clouds, just the two of you.” See? Perfect.

If $250,000 is hard right now, go to www.baronbob.com and check out Pancho the Singing Christmas Chihuahua. Pancho is as cute as a button, dressed in a red and green serape and a sombrero with green and red pompoms.

According to Baron Bob’s website, “Pancho the Singing Chihuahua loves Christmas. Squeeze his paw and he’ll sing ‘Feliz Navidad’ and do his little doggie dance…”

How much for the Panchito? I’m embarrassed to tell you — $24.95. Can you believe it? Neither can I. At that price you can get a Singing Christmas Chihuahua for everyone on your list.

And value? I’ll give you value. Check out Baron Bob’s Reindeer Car Costume — normally $24.95 — for $14.95. How does he do it? I have no idea, although I’m guessing it’s not volume.

The Reindeer Car Costume includes two antlers that stick out your front windows like those team flags people ride around with after a big game, and a big, red foam rubber nose that attaches to your front grill.

“Doesn’t your car deserve to share in a little bit of the Christmas spirit?” asks Baron Bob’s website.

To be honest, Bob, I don’t think my car cares that much about Christmas.

If you are a male person buying for that very special non-male person that is always in your heart and on your mind, think long and hard before you make a decision. If she loves you, she will understand that this is not the year for opulence, ostentation and conspicuous consumption, which is why I would go with the Diamond Forever Classic Bag from Chanel.

C’est combien, s’il vous plait? You can tuck it under the tree for just $260,150. And, no, that is not a typo. But here is my question. Couldn’t they just make it $260,000? Do they really need to tack on the $150? I would think $260,000 is enough for a handbag, no? I guess not.

For stocking stuffers, I have nothing to tell you and nowhere to send you but Seattle’s Archie McPhee at www.mcphee.com — an entire store of products for people who are severely off center and enjoy a clever play on words, i.e., a little bit of heaven on earth for me.

This year’s Archie McPhee Christmas specials include Inflatable Fruit Cake — a steal at $6.95.

“It’s festive, it’s traditional and it’s inedible — just like the real thing!”

And, at a laughingly cheap $2.50, the perfect stocking stuffer — Nihilist Mints.

“Nihilists don’t believe in flavor. Each sleek, black tin contains 60 completely flavorless mints.”

Then again, if all else fails, you’re starting to sweat and the clock is ticking faster and louder, you can always go with Sprinkle’s cupcakes, which are absolutely, positively guaranteed to cause intense holiday joy.

In Corona del Mar, much closer than Seattle, they’re about $3 apiece — you go, you buy, you eat, you achieve nirvana. See if any of these flavors do it for you: dark chocolate, eggnog spice, red velvet, peanut butter chocolate, mocha, ginger lemon, black and white.

You can’t even think now, can you? Just remember to break them in half and let them sit for a few seconds. It makes all the calories fall out.

There you have it — a purse for a quarter-million dollars, an inflatable fruitcake for $6.95 and Pancho the Singing Christmas Chihuahua. Christmas shopping is not hard. You just have to know a good value when you see it. I gotta go.

PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays. He may be reached at ptrb4@aol.com .