RESTAURANT REVIEW:

There are times when the cravings become too much and I have to have a messy, artery-clogging, smile-producing cheeseburger.

In-N-Out isn’t going to do. Those are too neat, and even though an animal-style burger has plenty of stuff on it, I want something a little more. When I am at the gym, peddling off my culinary sins in vain, I want the satisfaction of knowing I enjoyed the reason for the extra time in the saddle.

My friends and I grew up at these little hamburger stands, and in college, that was the first place we sought out when a bunch of us moved into a house in Long Beach. Fortunately, there is an abundance of places there. Here, not so much.

There is one that I have found that is the perfect fix when I get the craving for a cheeseburger.

Beach Burgers has been anchoring a spot between Garfield and Yorktown avenues for years. The site was initially called Bravo Burgers, and though the owners changed the name years ago, the comfort food remained the same.

When I say comfort, I mean comfort in the sense that it is comforting to the eyes. Those with tender stomachs who are not used to this type of cuisine might find it anything but comforting.

My friends and I used to have one of these family places we went to in college, and we crudely called these types of establishments “scarf and barfs.” Though the phrase may seem derogatory, it is actually a weird term of affection.

We know exactly what we are getting when we come and are all too eager to get there. Beach Burgers is definitely in this genre of cuisine.

The fries are the benchmark to a quality establishment, and Beach Burgers does not disappoint. They are a great size, between a shoestring and steak fry, and are a perfect golden brown, not too crispy but definitely not mushy.

The biggest plus is the size of your order. A small fills up a plate, and for 20 cents more, a large will feed two to three people easily.

It is the same for the onion rings, though the quality of the onion rings I have gotten is a little inferior. There were too many dried up and shriveled onions, and the rings were a bit overcooked.

But it is the burgers I am most concerned about when I order at a place like this, and Beach Burgers definitely did not disappoint.

You could get a hamburger or a cheeseburger and be completely happy, but I like to put some accoutrements on my red meat. My burger was the colossal burger, which includes pastrami with the burger and cheese. I like grilled onions, so I got those as well.

Every bite was a decadent slice of heaven. I don’t recommend a pastrami cheeseburger for a regular staple of your diet, but you must have one if you have never tried it. The pastrami here was good quality, and its leanness was better than a lot of similar places.

Of course, if pastrami is not a favorite, they have bacon cheeseburgers, avocado burgers and chili cheeseburgers.

That is another plus about places like Beach Burgers: The selection is so wide, it is nearly impossible not to find something. In addition to burgers, there are chicken breast sandwiches, tuna melts and a gyro. Even the vegetarians are covered with grilled cheese, a vegetarian sandwich and several different salads.

The other unique thing about Beach Burgers is the décor. The diner style has the typical booths, but there is also a car booth that is the focal point of the dining room. The establishment has long had a close relationship with car and motorcycle clubs in the area and has car shows and bike nights during the week. Years ago, a car enthusiast couple actually got married in the parking lot.

I am all for guilty pleasures occasionally, and Beach Burgers is a sin that is far too tempting for me to resist.

JOHN REGER reviews local restaurants and may be contacted at Nolimepublishing@aol.com or P.O. Box 2984, Seal Beach, CA 90740.