Comments & Curiosities:

I get them now and then. Suggestions for things I could write about. Did you know that March 3 was National Anthem Day? Neither did I. I only found out because a reader suggested I do a column about it.

It’s National Anthem Day because March 3, 1931, was when Herbert Hoover signed the bill that made the Star Spangled Banner our national anthem. I think National Anthem Day is a great idea, but it’s not the best fit with a humor column, although you have to use a pretty loose definition of both humor and column to call this a humor column. Squirrel races are a good fit; National Anthem Day, not so much.

But as my mouse and I checked into March 3 and National Anthem Day, we were shocked — and my mouse doesn’t shock easily — to find out how many National Whatever Days and National Whatever Months there are. There’s a lot. In fact, every single day of the year is a National Something Day, most of them made up by people and companies that sell the something’s.

Some days are real though, and a few are the result of an act of Congress or a presidential order, which is what it takes to be an actual real deal official National Whatever Day or Month.

We’ll do March, but you can find this stuff for whatever month you choose.

Right off the bat comes one of my favorites — March 1 is National Pig Day. It’s not official, but it is real and was started by a Texas teacher named Ellen Stanley in 1972. Stanley said she wanted some recognition for pigs as intelligent domestic animals.

Oh, OK. Is that an issue? I didn’t know. I thought National Pig Day would have something to do with bacon or those little cocktail wieners. I had no idea that pigs were smacks. I feel bad now.

March 20 is Extraterrestrial Abductions Day. I tried to find out who started it or if people throw alien abduction parties that day. Or if there are seminars asking how big was the probe or did you have the cute little ones with the big black eyes or the scary ones that are 7 feet tall and look like a praying mantis? But I couldn’t find anything, not a word. Then I remembered: They’re all gone, that’s why. I felt like such an idiot.

March 5 is National Employee Appreciation Day. I guess they’ve never heard of Labor Day, but it is also my second favorite March Day — National Multiple Personality Day. Here is my question, though: If you’re buying someone a card for Multiple Personality Day, how many do you buy? It’s an issue. Also, they should think about combining March 5, Multiple Personality Day, with March 9, which is National Panic Day, which is billed as a day for everyone to be deeply worried and concerned about everything. Are you sure we need a special day for that?

March 12, Girl Scout Day, is also in the “real day” folder, and it celebrates the day that Juliette Gordon Low of Savannah, Ga., started the first Girl Scout group — March 12, 1912 — with 18 girls and four cookies.

March 14 is National Learn About Butterflies Day, which is OK, I guess, but it’s also National Potato Chip Day, which is important. Do you know where potato chips come from? I mean, other than from potatoes? This is interesting, assuming you’re a shut-in who lives alone in a dark room and never talks to anyone. In 1853, railroad and shipping tycoon Cornelius Vanderbilt was in one of his favorite New York restaurants, being annoying and obnoxious, which apparently he was really good at.

He ordered fried potatoes with his dinner but sent them back to the kitchen not once, not twice, but three times because they were “too thick” for his liking. The chef ran out of patience before he ran out of potatoes, and, as a joke, sliced a potato paper thin, deep fried it and sent it back out to Mr. V with a suggestion that he should try these with a little salt. Vanderbilt did exactly that, went gaga-bonkers for the chef’s “potato chips” and the rest is you-know-what.

Speaking of food, March 14 is National Pi Day, which is pretty clever, since the shortest form of pi is 3.14, and March 15 is the Ides of March Day, which was the first day of the year in the Roman calendar and the day Julius Caesar proved that even emperors should take a hint once in a while.

And neither the last nor the least, what National Day is today? This is such a letdown — today is National Something on a Stick Day. Apparently, it’s for people that like things like Popsicles and corn dogs and candied apples. Needless to say, there is no trace of who came up with that idea.

Finally, there is one more day in March that might be the most sensible of all — March 26, which is National Make Up Your Own Holiday Day, which obviously a whole lot of people have.

So there you have it. If you have multiple personalities, get everyone together on March 5 and party hearty; if you have chips left over save them for March 14, and I apologize again about the pigs. I gotta go.

PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays. He may be reached at ptrb4@aol.com.