The College Conversation:

There’s a difference between talking about college and talking about college admissions. Have you shared your own college experience with your children? There’s so much to tell.

Here’s how I would start the conversation: Reminisce about your college days.

As I look back, I wish someone prepared me for what I would encounter.

No one ever talked to me about the limitless academic possibilities I would have. I wasn’t prepared for the ups and downs of declaring a major. Had I been more aware, I might not have changed majors six times in two years. On the other hand, it was fantastic that I could choose my own classes, explore intellectual interests and design my own schedule.

I’d heard of the “Freshman 15,” but felt it first hand when I indulged a little too often in the endless bowls of Lucky Charms I would be afforded at all meals in the cafeteria. Gaining those few extra pounds forced me to take advantage of the incredible athletic recreation center where I would join the Master’s Swim team and meet incredible friends. It might have helped to explore the abundant extracurricular opportunities available at my college in advance.

I realized a little too late that I’d be spending more time outside of the classroom than inside of it — at least for the first couple of years. I lived and learned when I barely passed my Humanities 101 course (and a few others), inevitably being placed on academic probation freshman year. That was a serious wake-up call, and I began to evaluate what I wanted intellectually out of my college experience. I came to realize that I missed the love of learning I felt in high school and building relationships with teachers.

I thought I could handle cold weather because I loved my time in the mountains as I spent two weeks a year in Mammoth. It’s beautiful to see the snowfall from a hotel window, but sloshing around in it for months, slipping on ice, and doing a frightening 360 on the highway were things no one warned me about.

No one told me that college would be such a blast. No one told me that the missteps I would make in college would inevitably lead to success. No one sat me down and explained that it would be a time of self-exploration, and I didn’t have to worry about declaring a major and knowing exactly what I wanted to do in life at the age of 17. All I heard was how hard it was going to be to get in — no one talked about what I could become when I got there.

Sit down with your children and reminisce about your college days. If you didn’t go to college, encourage your child to have conversations with people who did. Talk about the mistakes you made, the late nights, and how you rolled out of bed five minutes before class. It’s the time in their lives when they will have the most freedom with the least amount of responsibilities. It just might lighten the pressure, alleviate some stress and help you grow closer to your teenager who is about to fly the coop.

Start the conversation; you’ll be happy you did.

LISA MCLAUGHLIN is the founder and executive director of EDvantage Consulting Inc., an independent college admission counseling firm in South Orange County. Her column runs on Saturdays. Please send college admissions questions tolisa@EDvantageConsulting.com.