The College Conversation:

I’ll never forget the stench of alcohol on her breath as she stumbled past me, avoiding eye contact. My role that night, as part of the high school administrative team, was “greeter.” I was solely responsible for welcoming the limos as they dumped thousands of high school teens off at the prom.

If there was “cause,” I searched the limos for paraphernalia related to drugs and alcohol. I didn’t need to look very far. It was barely 8 p.m., and she practically fell over me on her way off the bus.

One hour later, her parents were in my office, deploring our rigid policy. This was the first time their daughter had ever drunk alcohol. How could this warrant a suspension?

“You’ll destroy her future!”

The day she returned from her suspension, I called her into my office. She was embarrassed about her behavior, candidly describing the details of the evening. It was her first time drinking hard alcohol, and it didn’t take much to put her over the edge. As a high school sophomore, she explained how she learned from her transgression.

“Do I have to tell the colleges that I was suspended?” “What if it’s removed from my high school record?” “Will they deny me because I got caught doing something that lots of other kids do?”

Good questions.

Every year, students are suspended for drug/alcohol violations at school events. A section on most college applications involves a question related to behavioral misconduct that resulted in disciplinary action from the student’s high school.

Colorado University, Boulder’s discipline question reads: “Have you ever been placed on probation, suspended or expelled from any high school or postsecondary institution for any academic misconduct or behavioral misconduct?”

The Common Application, an application accepted at more than 300 universities nationwide, asks, “Has the applicant ever been found responsible for a disciplinary violation at your school from ninth grade forward (or the international equivalent), whether related to academic misconduct or behavioral misconduct, that resulted in the applicant’s probation, suspension, removal, dismissal or expulsion from your institution?”

Both applicants and counselors are asked to describe the circumstances behind an incident.

Every year, counselors and admissions officers debate whether it is appropriate for colleges to request such information.

What the conversation comes down to is that colleges will err on the side of caution when selecting students who are mature enough to handle the social pressures of college. Colleges want to know whether the students they carefully select use good judgment. At highly selective institutions, admissions officers don’t need much ammunition to select the deny button.

Integrity matters in college admissions. Respect for authority, adherence to rules and common sense are all taken into account. And, while a college can objectively evaluate a student’s academic readiness by reviewing transcripts, test scores, and how the student balanced extracurricular involvement and academics, clues into a student’s integrity are a bit more difficult to find.

So, admissions officers dig. They review teacher recommendations and counselor reports reading between the lines. They analyze dips in grades, school changes, the presence or absence of a recommender’s whole-hearted adoration of a student’s personality or behavior, and think twice when a student has a high school suspension on their record.

We talk to our kids about being safe, not drinking and driving, and making smart decisions, but we often forget to talk to them about the repercussions of poor decision-making in college admissions. Colleges will judge your children based on their behavior, and the sooner they understand this, the better. Their future depends on it.

LISA MCLAUGHLIN is the founder and executive director of EDvantage Consulting Inc.., an independent college admission counseling firm in South Orange County.