Apodaca: We can’t agree on everything, but we can all agree on penguins

I have written about some deadly serious topics, including disease outbreaks in undervaccinated communities, wildfire risks, and funding cuts for education and scientific research, all of which could lead to dire consequences.

I’m also alarmed watching the same developments so many of us worry about — the deteriorating rule of law, the trade war and the hits to retirement accounts. I now know the meaning of a “dead cat bounce,” a morbidly specific phrase for a temporary pause in an otherwise collapsing stock market. We’re told we should learn something new every day, but I would have preferred to live without this particular piece of knowledge.

I don’t know about everyone else, but I could use a break. Not one of the dead-cat variety, but a meaningful interlude that could bring some cheer to our battered psyches.

After consideration, I think I’ve found a way to feel better about our circumstances, one that all of us, no matter our wildly divergent views on any other topic, can finally agree on:

Penguins are awesome. On this point, we can be united.

Of course, the animal kingdom in general is amazing, but other animals that we regard as charming have their detractors.

Otters, for example, might appear cute and playful, but some people consider them murderous psychopaths that are known to kill for sport.

Those pandas that we fawn over? There are more than a few among us who think they are lazy, arrogant jerks.

And don’t get me started on dolphins, which I used to believe were deserving of the greatest admiration. They’re so smart! Flipper, right?

But then I heard that the image of friendly dolphins is more fairy tale than reality, and that some of them murder baby dolphins and commit unspeakable atrocities on the females of their species.

Even sea lions, those endlessly entertaining blubber blobs, are not above some questionable behavior. Surfers in Newport Beach were chased out of the water by one sea lion recently, although I suppose we can’t fault the poor animal, which a veterinarian said was probably brain-damaged from a toxic algae bloom.

I get that we shouldn’t judge animals by human ethical standards. No matter how we tend to anthropomorphize them, they all engage in instinctual, survival-of-the-fittest, circle-of-life behavior. But surely one animal can rightly be held up as a paragon of excellence and virtue.

That animal is the penguin.

There are 18 species that hail primarily from the Southern Hemisphere, from the frigid Antarctic to the equatorial Galápagos Islands, ranging in size from 1 to 4 feet tall.

All of them ooze charisma. They are birds that don’t fly, but their incredible swimming abilities have been described as “flying through water.”

In fact, they swim so fast and gracefully, often through some of the chilliest waters on Earth, that one variety in particular, the Gentoo, can reach speeds more than three times that of the fastest human. And they do it in formal wear. Try doing that, Michael Phelps.

They’re superb walkers too, often covering long distances on land to reach their nests and breeding grounds.

Many penguins live in super-cold regions, so they have tons of feathers and fat to keep them warm. The hardy emperor penguins even have two layers of feathers and special fats in their feet to keep them from freezing. Their chicks have been sighted diving off a 50-foot cliff on the Antarctic Peninsula, plunging into icy waters, and swimming off in search of food — an astonishingly spunky way for young ones to leave the nest.

And get this — a group on land is referred to as a “waddle,” but in the water they are called a “raft.” It doesn’t get more adorable than that.

Do they complain, or engage in murderous rampages? No, they do not.

Indeed, penguins’ most endearing quality is that they are lovers, not fighters. They look out for each other, huddling together to stay warm and working in communal fashion to enhance their chances of survival.

They stay true to their mates, and they are great parents. Mom and Dad penguins are models for modern co-parenting, as they take turns nurturing and feeding their kids. Emperor males even keep the eggs warm while females go on long fishing trips.

My only negative observation is that many penguin species are endangered. Of course, they are in no way to blame for this. We are. The peril these remarkable animals face is a result of human-caused climate change, habitat loss, pollution and over-fishing.

I don’t want to contemplate a world without penguins. If for no other reason, we should treat our planet better so we can save these treasures of the animal world.

By now, I’m imagining some readers might be thinking that I’m setting myself up for bitter disappointment. So I’m putting everyone on notice.

If anyone knows anything that could burst my bubble by suggesting that penguins aren’t the magical creatures I consider them to be, then please don’t tell me.

In our current state of upheaval, disillusionment, and strained relations with our fellow humans, I really need to cling to the picture of penguin perfection.

Come on, admit it. Tuxedo-clad swimming champions who love their families are just the antidote we all need right now.