Chasing Down the Muse: A fine line between fear and hope

Fear is excitement without breath. — Robert Heller

Moonlight etched a shining silver path across the dark water, ending in an abrupt line where sea met sky. Knowing the clear demarcation was really illusion seemed to make no difference in the moment. Clearly, there was sea — and there was sky. Or was it that clear?

After days of sleep, then wake, then read, then sleep, then wake, then read, then walk a bit, then do laundry or some other household chore before repeating the sleep, wake, read cycles, my inner clock was all confused. Thus, here I was in the dead of night perusing the darkness. And thinking, of course.

Post-op (I am now bi-bionic, hip-wise — hooray!), I had had plenty of time to just think, especially in the wakeful wee hours. Some of the usual suspects continued to show up, and my mind, once again, turned them over and over. Change and fear were the most prevalent topics for thought.

I consistently seem to question why so many of our actions, reactions and thoughts are fear-based. Often, too, that fear is related to change. Change is so very inevitable. Why is it so feared? What would happen if, instead, we embraced change? Maybe even saw the fear as an opportunity for growth?

Blasphemy, I know. But really, why not give it a try? This fear-based stuff gets us nowhere. Stuck.

What if as an alternative to being mired in fear, we looked at change as opportunity and got creative with it? (Double blasphemy, I suppose.) It is unfortunate that too often, when fearful, we are drained of creative energy. Too many of our choices, then — especially in regard to change — are made based only on anxious concerns. We need to dare to be creative when caught up by fear.

So much of what we say about things and how we view those things are just stories we are telling ourselves (and others) anyway. What if we changed the story? Used our creative minds to come up with alternate outcomes not based only on fear?

Rather than seeing things only from the perspective of what is, what if we could have a view of possibilities, of what could be? What if we viewed change not with alarm but with hope?

What if fear is only another illusion like that line of demarcation on the moonlit horizon? What if, when we get right up to it, the fear, like the line, is gone?

As Goethe said, “Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes.” In the midst of moonlight meanderings, I would add: Breathe. Embrace the excitement of change and get creative with it.

You might be surprised.

CHERRIL DOTY is an artist, writer, and teacher who embraces the mystery and magic of all that is life. She can be reached at (714) 745-9973 or by email at cherril@cherrildoty.com.