Hansen: Lagunans proudly await world’s end

Every year in Laguna Beach the world ends on June 15.

It’s the convergence of several catastrophic events: Dogs are no longer allowed on the beach during the day. School ends, give or take, and worst of all, the tourists start arriving, meaning everything stops.

You could feel the fatal transition building on Memorial Day: more people, more traffic, more loathing.

If the past few weeks are any indication, it’s going to be a long, hot, brutal summer.

So for most residents, these last days of freedom are painfully bittersweet.

On the one hand, you try to hold onto that cool, crisp survival of spring. You run more errands, trying to stock up for summer — not winter.

If you haven’t dined yet at that fancy new restaurant, you do so posthaste, knowing that it won’t be worth the wait later.

If you have any business at all downtown, you are racing there now, earlier than usual, because you will soon refuse to go.

These are the realities of living in Laguna, unfortunately. And given our lack of a real downtown cosmopolis plan, it’s not getting any better. In fact, it’s absolutely getting worse.

Mark my words. Barring some freak global cooling in Laguna, this summer will bring the most frustrating gridlock the city has ever seen. Why?

The economy is better than it’s been in a long time, which means more tourists.

The housing construction in nearby Irvine has increased at a withering pace. You can see the inlanders at the opening of our beloved canyon, encroaching like some urban warlord.

To top it off, the ocean water clarity of our coves has been stunning. Wait until all those social media selfies start viraling around the world with titles like, “Caribbean? No. Greece? No. Laguna Beach! Woo-woo!”

All of this popularity is good for businesses, certainly, but it makes living here challenging.

Throughout the week, we try to avoid tourist rush hour when tending to our to-do list — post office, banking, hardware store, haircut — but it’s tough. For the most part, these outings can only happen during the day or on weekends.

If we had a stronger residential service economy, maybe things would be different. There would be more options, more hours and fewer hassles. But we don’t. We live only to feed the tourist machine.

Here is the good news. Despite all that, despite our dread, there is still a little bit of excitement about the end of the world.

Yes, starting June 15 we have to walk our dogs before 9 a.m. or after 6 p.m. on the beach. Yes, annoying people are everywhere. Yes, the trolley is stuck in traffic and won’t pick us up for another 90 minutes.

But we still like the bathing suits.

Seriously, I don’t care if you are male or female, young or old, there is nothing like seeing happy, tanned, lithe people skipping across Coast Highway.

And I won’t discriminate: The flabby, farmer-tanned, cargo-shorts-wearing guys like me are amusing too.

The point is there is a definite spark of summer excitement in the air.

It’s like we want to forget the inevitable bad things for just a moment. Right now, in our flawed, idealistic brains, we don’t care about the traffic, ruckus and demoralizing invasion.

For this brief peaceful time, we know why the tourists are coming. They are coming because Laguna Beach beckons like nothing else. It is and always will be Laguna Beach.

First and foremost, our value proposition is simple: the beach, the water, the tide pools and coves.

Bikinis? You can get that in Newport or Huntington.

Restaurants? Dime a dozen.

Surf? Lots of places.

But no one can touch our mesmerizing beaches.

Add to that our art, personalities and goodwill, and you have the Laguna vibe.

That’s why, right now, despite the upcoming onslaught, we are smiling just a little.

Just a little longer.

DAVID HANSEN is a writer and Laguna Beach resident. He can be reached at davidhansen@yahoo.com.