Hansen: Musical cliff facing Laguna Beach

At least we don’t have cows.

There is a classic tale of urbanites moving to the country, only to find that the bucolic farmland actually has cows.

Cows that stink.

So they complain to the local magistrate, demanding that the cows not stink.

And so it goes.

In a similar ill-wind story, the Laguna Beach Planning Commission is bracing for a showdown with The Cliff restaurant on one side and at least one unhappy neighbor on the other. A hearing for this week was delayed but will be rescheduled.

By way of background, The Cliff has been having nightly music concerts — made up mostly of small, acoustic sets — for more than a year. Occasionally, on the weekends, it will bring in a larger act, such as a reggae or rock band.

The concert series, called “Music Matters” and organized by Rick Conkey, has been successful at attracting a variety of local musicians, such as Jason Feddy, Nick Hernandez, Sasha Evans, Ken Garcia and many others.

In addition to the concert series, The Cliff has been playing music during weddings and receptions for more than 30 years at its scenic, waterfront location.

According to the restaurant, it has tried to be a good neighbor by monitoring noise levels and not allowing large bands.

But not everyone agrees.

Due to a quirky, downtown zoning landscape, there are a few residential neighbors — not many, but some.

Remaining anonymous in city documents, the complaints seem to come primarily from one person who lives in a small apartment north of the restaurant.

“It looks like there’s one complainer,” Conkey said. “And the person complains almost on a daily basis when there’s music.”

As a result of the complaints, the city opened its file on the restaurant and found that technically, it was not adhering to its permit. While it is allowed to have music with its operations, it was not originally permitted to have “amplified” music during the week.

The city also asked the police to research the history of the complaints over the past five years. Since 2007, there have been 26 noise complaints, more than half occurring during the past two years.

On one night of this year, May 31, there were three complaints within 15 minutes. That night was the charity concert, “Blue Water Green Earth” benefit, which featured six hours of music with well-known artists from bands like the Wallflowers, Foo Fighters, Blind Melon and Pink.

Normally, however, it’s more like a young woman strumming a guitar around the fire pit while friends, family and acolytes sip white wine.

In other words, this is not CBGB.

“It’s not a loud venue and we are so far below the decibel legal limit,” Conkey said. “The bottom line is we don’t want it too loud for the neighbors, but you’re in downtown Laguna Beach. You have to understand this is a little more lively area when you buy your house.”

And that really is the rub.

Any Laguna Beach resident knows this. The residents around Mozambique know this. Even the people up on the hills know this because the city is one big natural amphitheater.

Every noise, ambulance or fire truck can be heard to the tops of our hilltops.

More to the point, the downtown business district should be allowed to breathe. Restaurants absolutely should have music. Venues like The Cliff are perfect locations for more organized musical events.

We should have more of it, not less.

But we can’t have a free-for-all, obviously, like some long, ‘70s drum solo.

The city’s staff is more or less on the bus but not entirely. It is recommending that The Cliff be allowed to have amplified music but only on the weekends and four times a month.

This arbitrary limit infringes on a business to operate successfully and should not be stipulated.

The city also says it would be OK to have “non-amplified” music during the week. This, too, is problematic.

A Lambeg drum (think big marching band drum) is a non-amplified instrument and is considered the loudest drum in the world, reaching more than 120 decibels.

The Cliff voluntarily keeps its music below 65 decibels.

If I want to see musicians, I go to a place that has music.

If I live next to a place that has music, I better enjoy music.

If I don’t like music, then I probably won’t like cows either.

DAVID HANSEN is a writer and Laguna Beach resident. He can be reached at davidhansen@yahoo.com.