God Squad: When is a sign from God really a sign

Question: A question in your column several weeks ago concerned a 12-year-old boy uncertain about the existence of God and life after death. Here’s my story of why I believe:

A few weeks ago, I was told I might have cancer and needed a biopsy. I’m relatively young with two children, one of whom is 12. One morning, as I walked to the train for work — after the cancer news but before the biopsy — I found myself thinking about my situation. While I was scared for myself, I was more frightened for my children. I silently asked, addressing no deity in particular, for a sign that I’d be cancer free.

I wanted to be certain of the sign, so I asked to see something uncommon: a tiger with the face first and the body behind.

The work day came and went. After dinner, I found myself flipping channels on TV when I landed on a baseball game, the Texas Rangers vs. the Detroit Tigers. As I watched the game, for a moment the camera panned to a realistic statue of a tiger at Detroit Stadium (face first, body behind it). Two weeks later, I got my test results. I’m cancer free. Any thoughts? — D., via godsquadquestion@aol.com

Answer: Thanks for your story of faith and healing. It raises the question of when a lucky sign or fortunate coincidence is actually something more — an actual communication from God. You believe God was giving you a sign that you’d be all right. I want to believe that, too, but I’m just not sure. Let’s say that after you saw the tiger you discovered that you did, indeed, have cancer. Would you still believe in God? Or conversely, what if you saw no tiger but still learned you were cancer free. Is good news without a sign a reason to believe?

Let me tell you a story I rarely tell about my own tiger-sign from God.

Twenty-four years ago, at Passover/Easter time, I was living in New York, serving as a rabbi, when I was offered the same position at a synagogue in Florida. It was a large synagogue, it had a school with many children, and it was near very good golf courses. For some reason, I just couldn’t make a decision.

So, for the first and only time in my life, I asked God for a sign. I remember saying, “God, I’m embarrassed to ask for a sign, but I don’t know what to do. I will serve you with my life, but I just don’t know where you want me to serve you.”

Your need for a sign was on a much higher spiritual level than mine. You wanted a sign to know if you would live. I wanted a sign to know if I was going to live in Florida. Anyway, the next day, I went over to News 12 Long Island to do a brief interview. Passover and Easter were close together that year and the newsperson wanted to ask me and some priest about the differences between Passover and Easter. I replied, “There are no chocolate bunnies in Passover and there’s no horseradish in Easter.” Obviously, my mind was somewhere else.

Afterward, I spent a long time talking to the priest, Fr. Tom Hartman. I told him he seemed like a fine fellow but that I was going home to accept a position in Florida and I wouldn’t see him again.

Tommy looked at me and said in a quiet but firm voice, “You are not going there.”

Incredulous, I asked if he was in the habit of intruding in other people’s lives.

Then, he said, “I’ve never said anything like this before, but last night, in my dreams, God came to me and said I’d be meeting someone today and that I was supposed to tell him, ‘You are not going, because I’m not through with you here.’”

I was speechless and could barely breathe. Fr. Tom and I became The God Squad that day and he became my best friend. I called the Florida synagogue and declined the offer.

Asked why, I said, “I asked God for a sign and God sent me an angel to deliver the message.”

The reply was something like, “Rabbi, we’re glad you turned us down because you’re nuts.”

So, my dear D., we’re both a little nuts, but in a good way. I believe in signs and angels and God finding us in strange ways, but I’m way too modest to imagine that we can figure out any of this with precision. We shouldn’t make our faith dependent upon gifts or angelic communications from God. We don’t make our love for each other dependent on gifts or signs, so why should our love of God be any different?

We’re small animals (smaller than tigers), yet we imagine we can decipher the most sublime mysteries. I try to follow the wisdom of Deuteronomy 29:29: “The secret things belong unto the Lord our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children forever...”

Tigers and Tommy, I guess, fall somewhere between what is revealed and what is hidden. I’m happy to live in a world where I don’t understand everything but where I understand enough to give thanks to God for the signs of hope that litter our broken world. I’m glad you’re well, and please pray for Tommy.