Apodaca: Sexism against males also objectionable

Like many of my friends and neighbors, I spent many hours during the past two weeks marveling at the astonishing athletic feats at the Summer Olympics. Despite host Rio de Janeiro’s troubles and the inevitable assortment of Olympics controversies, the games provided us with some breathtaking moments.

Here in Newport-Mesa we had extra reason to cheer because several locals competed, including beach volleyball star and Newport Harbor High alumna April Ross; gymnast Sam Mikulak, who attended Corona del Mar High; and water polo player Maddie Musselman, also a CdM grad.

I also take pleasure in the Olympics because the games showcase women athletes in as close to equal measure with the men as we’re likely to find anywhere in the sporting world. This symbol of female empowerment and accomplishment sends a resoundingly positive message to American girls.

But there was one moment early on in the Olympics telecast that did not send a healthy message to young girls.

It was when the flag bearer from the tiny island nation of Tonga was met with rousing applause and instantly became a media sensation as he led his delegation with his oiled, bare, buff chest. He even upstaged Brazilian model Giselle Bundchen and, unfortunately, an inspiring team of refugees.

But NBC’s female commentators, Hoda Kotb and Meredith Vieira, took things a big, inappropriate step too far with their lascivious response to the handsome shirtless guy.

“Slow that down!” Kotb shouted. “We’ll just live here for a minute.”

Later, when the athlete — a tae kwon do contender, for anyone who bothered to care — appeared on the “Today” show, Kotb and Jenna Bush Hager notched up the creepiness by rubbing oil on him as he uncomfortably attempted to answer questions.

All in good fun? Or a weird, alternate-universe image of the leering objectification that women have so long been subjected to?

Anybody who knows me understands that I’m passionate about women’s rights. And though I would hope that the quest for full equality would always be about striving for a higher ideal, I would heartily defend any woman’s right to be just as slovenly, profane and hedonic as any male stereotype.

But here’s one thing I don’t like: Women who somehow think it’s OK to engage in the same kind of demeaning behavior toward men that we ourselves find objectionable when it’s directed at us.

Girl power does not give females license to ogle, fondle or harass others. It doesn’t matter what the Tongan athlete was wearing — or not wearing, as the case may be. It shouldn’t matter in the same way as women who rightly expect to be treated with respect, no matter how they choose to dress. And to think that men would laugh off or encourage being made into sex objects because, well, they’re just guys, is to trivialize a disturbing mindset and support an ugly double standard.

Some observers might argue that I’m making too much of a single incident. And they would rightly note that far more sexist comments were directed at the women competitors, including inappropriate talk about their bodies, private lives and even their makeup.

The trouble is that I keep noticing the same tendencies cropping up among women and I can’t help think that female empowerment has skidded a little off course.

Take the new “Ghostbusters” film. There was a ridiculous controversy over remaking the movie with a female cast, and the filmmakers deserve credit for standing up to such foolish misogynism.

But when I saw the film, I have to admit that there was one aspect to it that made me cringe. One of the supporting characters is a beautiful man that the women leads hire as their secretary, even though he’s so dimwitted he can’t figure out how to answer a phone. There are many jokes made of this, a lot of goggling and accidentally-on-purpose touching.

I get it. It’s funny to turn the tables and make the dumb blonde a guy. But it’s a cheap laugh, one that panders to our basest instincts and suggests that it’s acceptable for women to keep a man in a subordinate position as long as he’s hot.

There’s nothing funny about sexual harassment. And recent research indicates that sexual harassment of men is more widespread — and likely under-reported — than we might have previously realized. Some of that harassment is by other men, but a considerable amount is undoubtedly perpetrated by women.

According to an article last year in Psychology Today, the most reliable predictor of this kind of behavior in a workplace setting “is whether there is widespread tolerance for this kind of treatment.”

It shouldn’t be tolerated anywhere. Not at work, in our schools, at sporting events or in our cultural institutions.

We’ve made progress toward putting to rest the tired “can’t you take a joke” mentality that for too long allowed men to put women in uncomfortable, even dangerous, situations.

Now it might be time to teach our girls and young women that with their growing power comes a responsibility to treat others with the same respect and dignity that we want for ourselves. One prurient comment or ill-advised application of oil during the Olympics might not seem like much, but it’s a step toward an unsavory place where we absolutely should not go.

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PATRICE APODACA is a former Newport-Mesa public school parent and former Los Angeles Times staff writer. She lives in Newport Beach.