Bobby Slayton: Still barking after all these years

The “Pitbull of Comedy” was trying to relax poolside in Palm Beach, Florida, before a gig last week. Trying is the operative word. If you’re Bobby Slayton, it isn’t always easy to relax.

“There’s some guy playing guitar that can play the whole Van Morrison catalog, which is fine, I guess. He could be playing some Journey [crap],” he complains. “Everybody’s got to make a living. Like I said, better Van Morrison than Journey. For some reason I’ve always had a bug up my ass about that band. I’ve always hated them with a passion.”

We had similar feelings for years, we tell Slayton, until we were swayed by the use of “Don’t Stop Believin’” in the final episode of “The Sopranos” and heard it played repeatedly by former Sex Pistol Steve Jones on his radio show and as a late-inning rally anthem at Dodger Stadium. Slayton is not impressed. “Oh my God,” he says. “I hate all those people getting up and chanting along. I don’t like group things. And of all people Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols playing Journey. I would think he would know better than playing Journey. I don’t know why he would do that.”

Slayton, who performs Friday and Saturday at Flappers Comedy Club in Burbank, has a vague connection to Jones and the Sex Pistols. One of his nicknames is “Yid Vicious,” a play on Jones’ late one-time bandmate, Sid. “I was Yid Vicious before he was Sid Vicious,” Slayton quips. “He stole from me.”

Slayton credits one-time San Francisco radio personality Alex Bennett with giving him both his nicknames. “In the late ’70s and early ’80s when pitbulls were always in the news because they were eating babies and biting the legs off postal carriers, I was on his morning show and I did some innocuous little joke about McDonald’s, and this account executive comes running in and says I just lost him this $50,000 account,” he recalls. “So Alex says, ‘You’re like a pitbull. You bite the hand that feeds you. We put you on the radio to promote your gigs and then you lose our advertising dollars.”

The nickname stuck, but over the years it’s become a bit troublesome. “Then that guy Pitbull came along, and people think I’m taking it from him,” Slayton complains. Making matters worse, Slayton’s 26-year-old daughter, Natasha, who is in the group G.R.L., has performed with the Miami rapper. “So my daughter’s cheating on me with another Pitbull,” he says. “What am I going to do? It’s the story of my life.”

Actually, the story of Slayton’s life these days consists mostly of two or three weekends a month playing comedy clubs around the country while spending the rest of his time relaxing poolside at his Sherman Oaks home. “I sit by my pool all day like a ... turtle. I love it,” he says. “I was an old Jew a long time ago.” It’s a life he’s somewhat content with — only somewhat.

“I play a lot, which really sucks, and I play the comedy clubs,” he gripes. “When I look at friends of mine, like Lewis Black, who probably plays as many nights as I do, but he’s playing theaters, making five times the money. And then there’s Jerry Seinfeld, who probably plays as much as I do, but he’s playing theaters and making 10, 20 or 100 times the money. I’m down in the trenches. I’m in the comedy clubs where people aren’t necessarily paying to come and see you. They’re paying to go to a comedy club... When I say, I’m on the road, I’m really on the road... I ran into Seinfeld’s opening act the other day in the airport and she said, ‘He just loves it.’ He loves it because he’s flying on a private jet and making a half million a week. I don’t make that in a year and I’m lucky if I get my upgrade to business class... I put in well over 100,000 miles a year — on my ass — that’s a lot of miles.”

But things used to be worse. When the recession hit about five years ago, and Slayton’s wife lost her clothing business, he had to shift it into high gear. “When you’re the sole provider and you’re living in Sherman Oaks and you want to keep that swimming pool... I was working four weekends out of the month. It was pretty brutal,” he adds, before coming to his senses. “Then I’d come to a town and go to a mall and see a guy with a... name tag working at Cinnabon, and I’d go, ‘Well, I’m not doing that, right?’ So it’s fine.”

At 59, Slayton admits he’s slowed down a bit. We mention older comedians, like Bill Cosby, are still touring. “Well, better on the road than in jail,” Slayton snaps. “He’s happy he’s on the road, because pretty soon he’ll be on the road in a chain gang and be in an orange jumpsuit picking up trash or putting down railroad ties. He’s lucky he’s still traveling.”

Slayton’s also appeared in such films as “Dreamgirls,” “Bandits,” “Get Shorty” and “Ed Wood.” He played Joey Bishop in the 1998 HBO movie “The Rat Pack,” and has appeared on TV in the HBO series “The Mind of a Married Man,” “Brother’s Keeper” and “Home Improvement,” but he doesn’t necessarily enjoy working in film or TV.

“When I’m on the set, I feel like, ‘Hey, I’m in show business.’ But I don’t have any big parts. I have a lot of great scenes in great movies,” he says. “I always have one or two great scenes, but basically you sit around all day and then the next day I’m at the Funny Bone in Omaha and think to myself, ‘Wasn’t I in show business yesterday?’ I like doing them, but I hate putting the makeup on and sitting around all day. Maybe if I was a better actor and had bigger parts maybe I’d like it more.”

So Slayton says he stuck with stand-up. “I’m a [crappy] actor,” he says. “This is all I do. This is all I have to work with. I can’t play golf. I can’t ski. I want to watch TV and I want to make people laugh. That’s enough for me.” And we all might be better for it. Or maybe not.

Who: Bobby Slayton

Where: Flappers Comedy Club and Restaurant, 102 E. Magnolia Blvd., Burbank

When: Friday and Saturday, 8 and 10 p.m. shows

Admission: Tickets are $35 and $45.

More info: (818) 845-9721, flapperscomedy.com
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CRAIG ROSEN is a regular contributor to Marquee.