The Times’ college football rankings

This is the last in a weekly-ranking series of musings and observations on the national college football scene. If we have offended, irritated or otherwise disparaged any teams or Internet fan bases, especially in the Southeastern Conference, well, that’s why we started doing this in the first place. There will be final rankings after the Bowl Championship Series national title game between Louisiana State and Alabama on Jan. 9. Coaches Les Miles and Nick Saban will be asked to donate $10 for every field goal scored, and $1 million for every touchdown, to their favorite local charities.

1; Louisiana State 13-0; What do you get for Christmas for the team that has two of everything? (1)

2; Oklahoma State 11-1; Loved when Boone Pickens rode A-bomb in last scene of “Dr. Strange Booster.” (4)

3; Alabama 11-1; Rematch is opposed by 49 states, Puerto Rico, American Samoa and U.S. Virgin Islands. (2)

4; Stanford 11-1; Fifty years ago, Oklahoma State matchup would have been Cowboys vs. Indians. (3)

5; USC 10-2; Team receives new set of clothes and $20 after release from Bowl Ban Penitentiary. (7)

6; Boise State 11-1; Booked Tijuana Hilton in advance of first Big East game against San Diego State. (8)

7; Oregon 11-2; Coach wonders how he’ll get his offensive weapons through Rose Bowl security. (9)

8; Arkansas 10-2; Used expiring SEC points to upgrade to Cotton Bowl Concierge Level. (10)

9; South Carolina 10-2; Spurrier orders bowl of “Pelini with clam sauce” after told he’s playing Nebraska. (12)

10; Kansas State 10-2; Kids mad over BCS snub go outside student union to plan Wildcat strike. (13)

11; Texas Christian 10-2; Did not get to major conference fast enough to avoid last poke in the eye by BCS system. (15)

12; Wisconsin 11-2; Goes from facing Purple Badger Eaters (TCU) in Rose to Chip’s Kelly Green Gobstoppers. (17)

13; Michigan State 10-3; Outback Bowl lodging is down at the end of lonely street, at Heartbreak Hotel. (16)

14: Michigan 10-2; You’ll be the New Orleans warmup act that performs before LSU-Alabama. (18)

15; Baylor 9-3; Heisman Trust never imagined its trophy might end up at the Alamo Bowl. (19)

16; Nebraska 9-3; Spurrier terrified A.D. Osborne will bring his 1995 team to Capital One Bowl. (20)

17; Virginia Tech 11-2; Hokies belong on Bourbon Street about as much as Women’s Temperance Society. (5)

18; Southern Mississippi 11-2; Rankman wanted to see Fedora against The Hat in the Capital One Bowl. (23)

19; Houston 12-1; Five students seen drinking a case after Keenum’s performance against Southern Miss. (6)

20; Oklahoma 9-3; Insight scoop: It won’t matter to Stoops that Iowa is his alma mater. (11)

21; Georgia 10-3; Players gave it their all for all of 30 minutes in Saturday’s SEC loss to LSU. (14)

22; Clemson 10-3; Tigers’ first Atlantic Coast Conference title since 1991 earns team first pick in next year’s BCS draft. (21)

23; West Virginia 9-3; First damaged-goods team to represent Big East in BCS bowl in, gosh, months. (24)

24: Penn State 9-3; Faces Houston in TicketCity for championship of Conference Big Ten USA. (22)

25; Florida State 8-4; If Champs Bowl vs. Notre Dame is boring, turn to 1993 game on ESPN Classic. (25)

chris.dufresne@latimes.com

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