Don’t throw that Garden party just yet
In a typically bold/vaudeville move, New York Knicks owner James Dolan traded six players — including all the ones over 6 feet 8 in stocking feet — for Carmelo Anthony, who might have signed as a free agent.
Yes, Jimbo I rides again!
After two seasons in eclipse, Dolan — who rose to power when his father, who ran then-corporate owner Cablevision, sat him on the throne — emerged to pull off this blockbuster, taking the Knicks to...
Well, that’s not clear, but it’ll be fun, if only in a Mack Sennett Model Ts running-into-each-other way.
Ten years into his reign, Jimbo I remains one of the truly clueless — the ones who don’t know they’re clueless.
On the other hand, with the imperiousness of a Caesar, Jimbo definitely knows who’s in charge.
General Manager Donnie Walsh, who spent two seasons hauling the Knicks out of their black hole, had been offering one starter for Anthony.
Dolan, convinced that whoever got Melo would get Chris Paul in 2012 — and terrified it could be the New Jersey Nets — took over personally All-Star weekend.
As to who convinced Jimbo....
After years of embarrassing the NBA with his clown show, topped off by a sex scandal, Dolan hired Walsh in 2008 at Commissioner David Stern’s urging.
Jimbo being Jimbo, a born-on-third-base force of nature who defeated the mayor’s plan to bring the Jets and Giants back with a football stadium near Madison Square Garden, Dolan never gave up control or stopped consulting former GM Isiah Thomas.
Actually, Jimbo wants to rehire Thomas.
Unfortunately for Isiah, the tragic figure in this farce whose real crime was taking bullets for Dolan, Knicks fans recoil at the mention of his name.
Thomas always pushed a Creative Artists Agency strategy to bring in its powerful clients ... including LeBron James.
With street-agent-turned-legit Wes Wesley, uh, facilitating, they started with the 2005 acquisition of CAA client/LeBron pal Eddy Curry.
Curry got a $60-million deal, ballooned to the size of a blimp and played 10 games the last two seasons.
Oh, and James never gave New York a second thought last summer.
Instead, LeBron disavowed Wesley for using his name to make his own deals, such as bringing John Calipari to Chicago.
If Dolan thinks Paul, a CAA client, would follow Anthony, a CAA client, who could have told him that?
Of course, with Thomas dying to get back in the action, what was he going to say — “Do what Donnie says”?
Dolan offered three starters and when Denver asked for promising 7-foot rookie Timofey Mozgov, threw him in too.
Happily, the Nuggets didn’t ask for the Garden or the Knicks might be looking for a place to play.
Meanwhile, Walsh and Coach Mike D’Antoni released a statement saying “the three of us are in complete agreement.”
They meant Dolan, Walsh and D’Antoni, not Thomas.
Allegedly introducing Anthony at a news conference, Dolan lashed out, glaring at reporters and biting off his words, insisting Thomas wasn’t “telling me what to do in any way” and reports to the contrary were “a fiction in somebody’s mind.”
Unfortunately, one of the minds may have been Isiah’s.
On Miami talk radio, Thomas said he talks to Dolan but said he wouldn’t discuss what he tells friends.
Aside from that, Gotham swooned as if the Knicks had landed James.
“It’s the new Staples Center, if I can say that,” said Amare Stoudemire.
“L.A. is known for having all of the stars there. I think New York is going to take over that stardom stage.”
“The Knicks are back,” announced James, on behalf of CAA-dom.
Not quite yet.
Entitled as he is, James is Solomon the Wise next to Anthony, a young 26 with an easily turned head.
Before Chauncey Billups arrived, Melo never won a playoff series, losing 20 of 24 games in five first-round routs.
Aside from being in Denver, the Nuggets, who were built around Anthony, were ideal for him.
The Knicks were built around Stoudemire, who didn’t like sharing the spotlight with Steve Nash, who didn’t care about it and made him a great player.
Melo won’t do anything for Amare but take some of his shots, yearns for recognition, as Amare does, and is better connected.
Melo and wife La La Vazquez already have a VH1 reality show — which began filming a month ago!
Nor is Amare inclined to suck it up.
When the Knicks started 3-8, he said he wanted to stay in Phoenix, noting Alvin Gentry was the only coach who taught him to defend, throwing D’Antoni under the bus even faster than expected.
The old electricity returned to the Garden for Anthony’s debut, as the Knicks held off Milwaukee before giving up 115 and losing … in Cleveland?
“You play a certain way all year and you’ve got to change gears now,” D’Antoni said.
“We’re smaller and that’s going to be our formula. Whether we like it or not, that’s how it’s going to be.”
Hold that bus.
mark.heisler@latimes.com
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