The Times’ college football rankings

Rankman O’Reilly apologizes profusely for giving Notre Dame no chance against Oklahoma. May the road (but not Pittsburgh, Boston College or Wake Forest) rise to meet all you Irish before coming West after Thanksgiving. Kudos to Oregon for not beating Colorado, 220-0, the way Georgia Tech did Cumberland back in 1916. And someone tell USC “Flag Day” is supposed to be celebrated June 14 and not every Saturday in the fall. This is a big week for Alabama, which faces Louisiana State in its biggest away-from-home test since Michigan (now 5-3) in the opener. Rankman can’t decide which is more amazing: the fact Alabama has trailed for only 15 seconds all season, or the fact the Crimson Tide trailed Mississippi.

1. Alabama 8-0; Auburn gave up 63 points to Texas A&M; last week. Alabama has given up 65 points all season. (1)

2. Oregon 8-0; Travel agent tells life-in-the-fast-lane team there’s plenty of room at the Hotel California. (2)

3. Kansas State 8-0; No truth 73-year-old Bill Snyder spent Halloween chasing kids off his lawn. (3)

4. Notre Dame 8-0; Ten atheists from Norman said after game even they now believe in the Fighting Irish. (5)

5. Louisiana State 7-1; Town plans to roll out the barrels and the spike strips for incoming Alabama. (6)

6. Ohio State 9-0; Second-guessers wonder whether school should have self-imposed one-year bowl ban last year. (10)

7. Georgia 7-1; Being back in control of the SEC East must make Dawg fans really, really nervous. (12)

8. Florida State 8-1; Only No. 33 in Sagarin’s BCS ratings but he still thinks they have “top-30” potential. (11)

9. Florida 7-1; Check out Gators’ closing “SEC” schedule: Missouri, Louisiana Lafayette, Jacksonville State, Florida State. (4)

10. Clemson 7-1; Team simply can’t be ignored, although South Carolina fans are certainly trying their best. (13)

11. Louisville 8-0; Bridgewater was the perfect quarterback to lead team to comeback win in the rain. (17)

12. Oregon State 6-1; Students and players love Halloween Week because they all get to dress in orange and black. (7)

13. South Carolina 7-2; Looking forward to Marcus Lattimore being 2014 Comeback Player of the Year. (14)

14. USC 6-2; NCAA reminds team that sanctions do not require a “penalty phase” on the field. (9)

15. Oklahoma 5-2; Stoops has no plans for an “apology tour” after two home losses in one season. (8)

16; Texas A&M; 6-2; Playing at Auburn and Mississippi State in consecutive weeks all part of SEC glitz and glamour. (19)

17. Stanford 6-2; Rankman holds school personally responsible for zombie-like uprising from South Bend fan base. (21)

18. Boise State 7-1; Still in the raffle mix for a BCS bid and a time share at Marriott’s new Blue Lagoon resort. (20)

19. Louisiana Tech 7-1; One is this week’s opponent: NASA, UTSA, NAFTA, USFL, NATO, OPEC, DISH. (23)

20. Texas Tech 6-2; Breaking out “Lone Star Pride” uniforms against Texas defense that, way back, used to have some. (15)

21. Rutgers 7-1; Following Kent State debacle, team will no longer serve turnovers for pregame breakfast. (16)

22. Mississippi State 7-1; Hey, no one said finally playing good teams was going to be easy. (18)

23. West Virginia 5-2; Facing Texas Christian for first time since teams met in 1984 George Orwell Bowl. (25)

24. UCLA 6-2; Rankman never imagined Bruins would have same number of losses as SC (South Carolina). (NR)

25. Arizona 5-3; Rich Rod’s all-you-can-eat offense buffet recently named “best spread in town.” (NR)

Dropped out: Ohio (22), Michigan (24).

Moved in: UCLA, Arizona.