The Sports Report Olympics edition: Previewing the opening ceremony

It’s finally time for the opening ceremony of the 2024 Paris Olympics. I’m John Cherwa and I will not be among the 10,500 who will take a boat trip down the Seine today.

The two days of appetizers are over. We’ve probably watched the last of rugby and team handball. Our days of finding the channel number for USA network are likely done. As Michael Buffer made a ton money saying, “Let’s get ready to rumble.”

But before we start dishing details and offering opinions, let’s get one thing straight. It’s opening ceremony, not opening ceremonies. There is only one of them, singular, not plural. Not sure how the plural “ceremonies” got traction, but you hear it all the time.

And while we’re at it, can we also stop using blue skies, partly cloudy skies, rainy skies? Some TV weather people propagate the myth there is more than one sky. Unless you are watching an episode of the fantastic “For All Mankind,” where there is a Martian sky, a lunar sky and earth sky, there is only one sky. Got it? Good.

OK, under a possible rainy Parisian sky today will be the opening ceremony. (Notice how we tie it all together.) No hyperbole, but this one should be spectacular. It’s why Best Buy sells 80-inch televisions. It starts at 10:30 a.m. PDT.

Rather than the traditional scene of athletes marching into a stadium, they arrive on boats and barges on the Seine River. They will start at the Asterlitz Bridge and go the 3.7 miles past the Louvre, the Notre Dame cathedral and many other Parian landmarks. It will finish at the Trocadéro, which is near the Eiffel Tower.

What could go wrong?

A boat breaking down would be tops on my list, but there is little doubt they have contingencies. And then there is the length. The ceremony is budgeted for at least four hours, but most expect it go longer than a director’s cut of a Scorsese movie. And finally, rain could upend some of the festivities.

There should be about 100,000 ticket-holding fans behind security barriers along both sides of the Seine with another 200,000-plus along the upper embankments of the river.

All of the speeches and ceremonial stuff will be the Trocadéro. Those expected to perform include Celine Dion and Lady Gaga.

NBC will try and get three airings out of this, once live, once in primetime (with enhancements) and then overnight.

Who’s in the main booth?

NBC knows how to do an Olympics. But, sometimes it makes a decision that defies explanation. In the main booth for the opening will be Mike Tirico, good solid, sensible choice and Peyton Manning and Kelly Clarkson. Huh? This is a joke, right?

Did they win a contest because they could spell Uzbekistan and know the English pronunciation of Qatar (cutter)? Or did they win the contest by not being able to do either?

Meanwhile, Savannah Guthrie, one of the top journalists at the network if not all of broadcasting, is stuck on a bridge co-hosting with Hoda Kotb. Now, maybe she’s there to keep Kotb from climbing the security barrier and jumping onto the U.S. boat so she can hug members of the women’s gymnastic team. (More in next item.) Or maybe not.

Any way you cut it, doesn’t make sense.

The Games officially begin

Some mark the beginning of the Games with the start of the opening ceremony, others say it’s when the cauldron is lit or when competition starts. Well, we here at the newsletter, mark the start of the Games when NBC “journalist” Hoda Kotb hugs her first athlete.

That moment came Thursday at the end of the first hour of the Today show when, in a clearly set-up bit, she opened a dressing room curtain and found Tamari Davis, a U.S. sprinter. Kotb then officially, as far as we’re concerned, opened the Games with a side-hug, which lasted several seconds. Best we can, we’ll be keeping a tally as the Games progress.

Here’s the problem. Journalists don’t hug the people they cover. They just don’t. Sometimes the people you cover, in a jubilant moment, give you a hug, but you never initiate it. How would you feel if Lester Holt, David Muir or Norah O’Donnell hugged Kamala Harris or Donald Trump? Not appropriate, right?

And don’t give us the “it’s just sports” argument. We take our journalism and ethics as serious as any member of the newsroom.

If I could turn back time

Long as I’m throwing shade, I need to send some my way. In some versions of the Thursday’s newsletter I referred to Norwalk, Conn., as Norfolk. And Fiji, the presumptive gold-medal winner in the men’s-seven rugby, came out as Fuji. We’ll do better.

Catching up on the news

The big action on Thursday was really not that scintillating. The U.S. women’s soccer team beat Zambia 3-0 in a game that was over almost before it started. Zambia was the weakest team in the group and anything other than a rout would have been disappointing. The U.S. went up quickly and then just sat on the three-goal lead the rest of the match. The team next plays on Sunday against Germany, a much tougher match. But don’t take my word, check out the story by our Kevin Baxter, who was at the match and talked to the players and coaches.

The men’s rugby-sevens took a big step toward completion as the U.S. team, despite making it to the quarterfinals, got bounced by Australia 18-0. The Eagles, as they are known, won their first match of the day, 33-17, over Uruguay. The men’s team will now play on Saturday for a placing of 5-8. It plays Ireland and if it wins will play for fifth or sixth. A loss and it will play for seventh or eighth.

Must-read links

Let’s catch up on some stories you might have missed, but shouldn’t have:

• 2024 Paris Olympics: How to watch every event and the opening ceremony
  
• U.S. women’s soccer scores Olympic-opening win over Zambia, but bigger tests loom
  
• Unique Olympics opening ceremony keeps Paris on high alert over security
  
• Allyson Felix’s push to have child care at Paris Olympics pays off: ‘A great starting point’
  
• Bienvenue, Mother Monster: Lady Gaga reportedly performing at Olympics opening ceremony
  
• Column: Whatever happens at the Olympics, Simone Biles has written a comeback story for the ages
  
• Risking life and limb for glory: Olympic surf competition to be held on world’s ‘heaviest wave’
  
• Chasing the Olympic dream isn’t cheap, and U.S. athletes often are stuck with the bill
  
• The Team USA House in Paris, where athletes and paying customers relax
  
• LA Times Today: L.A. Olympic organizers about to face their toughest task: Delivering on promises
  

Your TV guide

How can you watch the Games today? Check out our Olympic opening ceremony TV listings.