You’re Engaged! What Do You Do Next?
- Share via
Congratulations! You’re engaged—cue the champagne and confetti! While this is obviously an amazing moment, once the excitement settles the reality of planning a wedding can feel overwhelming. Where do you even begin?
While it’s tempting to dive straight into Pinterest and dress shopping, the best weddings aren’t just beautifully designed; they’re thoughtfully planned from the start. Here’s how to lay a strong foundation for an enjoyable planning process.
Identify Your Planning Committee
Before making any decisions, sit down with your fiancé and determine who will be involved in the planning process, aka your “planning committee.” These are the people who will influence decisions, often including parents, close family members, or trusted friends.
When deciding who to involve, consider:
- Who’s financially contributing? If parents are contributing to the expenses, for example, they may expect input on decisions.
- Who do you trust for guidance? This could be a parent with impeccable taste, a friend who planned the perfect wedding, or someone whose opinions align with your vision.
- Who are the ultimate decision-makers? You? Your parents? A combination? Establishing decision-making boundaries now can prevent stress later.
Whoever you include, keep the group small. Too many voices can cause unnecessary anxiety, dilute your vision, and lead to decision fatigue.
Talk About Finances & Establish Priorities
Finances may not be the most glamorous part of planning, but they’re crucial. Have an open conversation about what everyone is comfortable spending. Ask yourselves:
- What is our realistic budget? Is this a firm cap, or is there some flexibility?
- If we can’t afford everything on our wish list, what takes priority? Staying on budget or adhering to our vision?
- Who is contributing, and what expectations, if any, come with their support?
Many couples experience sticker shock when they start gathering quotes, but setting a budget that reflects your values will help you allocate funds where they have the most impact.
As you review your budget, the conversation about priorities will naturally arise. Every couple has different must-haves—some dream of a memorable meal, while others prioritize a breathtaking venue or top-tier entertainment. Ask yourselves:
- What aspects of the wedding experience are non-negotiable?
- Are there areas where we’d prefer to scale back?
- How do we want our wedding to feel for our guests—intimate, glamorous, effortless, over-the-top?
Aligning on priorities early will guide decisions and ensure you invest wisely.
Define Your Guest List
Your guest count will impact nearly every major decision, from venue selection to catering costs to centerpieces and more. Are you dreaming of a grand wedding full of friends, acquaintances, and co-workers or something more intimate with those who matter most?
Start by listing the people you truly can’t imagine celebrating without. If parents are involved, get their input as well.
As you outline your guest list, consider:
- Do we want an intimate gathering or a large celebration?
- Are plus-ones invited?
- What’s our stance on inviting children?
- If budget or venue constraints arise, who is on the “must-have” list versus the “nice-to-have” list?
Ultimately as you consider who to invite, ensure that your guest list aligns with your vision, priorities and finances.
Brainstorm the When & Where
Before diving into venue research, think broadly:
- What season feels right for our wedding?
- Do we envision a local celebration or a destination wedding?
- Are we drawn to a ballroom, vineyard, beach, or even a private estate?
Once you have a general idea of timing and location, start researching venues. Reach out for initial details including availability, capacity, and pricing. Even a few initial inquiries will give you helpful insight to narrow down venues before beginning site visits.
Consider Hiring a Wedding Planner
A wedding planner is more than just an extra set of hands—they’re your guide through the complexities of planning. Whether you hire a full-service planner or someone for partial support, their expertise can save you time, stress, and costly mistakes.
When vetting planners, look for someone who will collaborate with you while also offering guidance. The right planner will listen to your vision while also helping you navigate contracts, manage vendors, troubleshoot logistics, and ensure you invest your resources wisely.
A Thoughtful Start Leads to a Seamless Celebration
The best weddings don’t just happen—they’re designed with intention from the very first conversations. By clarifying roles, setting financial expectations, curating a thoughtful guest list, and aligning on your vision, you’ll create a wedding planning experience that feels less overwhelming and more enjoyable. Start with clarity, and everything else will fall into place beautifully.
More Weddings & Celebrations
