‘Desperate Housewives’: Sealed with a kiss

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Everyone loves a stripper, right?

Of course not.

Not when it’s Wisteria Lane and you factor in: (a) wandering-eye husbands, (b) warm-blooded teenage boys and (c) jealous, catty women.

Robin (Julie Benz) is on the Lane for a little while longer after Susan let her move in out of guilt. Remember last week when I said I thought housing a stripper would be a bad idea and stir up a whole big ol’ pot of nasty drama? Well of course that happens.

I’d like to say I’m so smart, but it didn’t take brains or an advanced knowledge of dramatic plot lines (both of which I think I have) to spot the conflict a mile away. But I wasn’t prepared for Robin to affect all of the housewives’ lives.

As we all know, this is the Lane, and with a street only so big and everybody all up in everybody’s cup of tea, our favorite little stripper infiltrated each of the wives’ lives in separate story lines, a favorite storytelling device for Cherry & Co. to spring on us once or twice a season. First up to bat is the Scavo household. Robin and her assets prove to be too much for the younger Scavo. With Lynette catching Parker and his friends playing a game of peeping Tom at a naked Robin, he certainly grew up faster than I thought. I still thought he was 12 (14 max), not 16, and I’m still on pause on his incessant need to “really, really, really” have sex.

I wasn’t too pleased with how Tom and Lynette handled his desire to lose his virginity to join his friends, Pimples, Braces and Beam Me Up Scotty. I appreciated them offering him the reassurance that he wasn’t emotionally ready for that part of life. But there was no mention (or consequences) for him objectifying a woman – he did after all offer to pay Robin for sex. I mean sure she’s a stripper, but that doesn’t translate to prostitution. Call me old-fashioned, but Mama and Papa K ., my fabulous parents, would have popped me upside my head for telling someone I’d pay them for sex. That’s gross, degrading and disrespectful -- no matter your age.

Tom’s assertion that guys always pay for sex in some way (gifts, etc. etc. etc,) didn’t help the situation. Oh Tom, why must you open your mouth -- you know if you don’t say a preapproved statement for Lynette all hell will break loose and she will go all Mr. T on you? Sadly he was only hoping the pricey ring he got for her to celebrate their anniversary got him an upgrade from just the missionary position in the bedroom. Couldn’t he have wished for a gift card? But seriously Lynette, no gift card or something else for your hubby, just sex? Just like Lynette to turn sex with your husband into a gift.

Next there was Bree. With her marriage a fragile object, Robin gave her the courage to try to rekindle the spark with Orson, with a little dirty dancing. Even though the resulting strip tease was a disastrous fail (Tchaikovsky always puts me in the mood), it led to a tender moment between the two that even my cold-loveless-heart warmed up to. My dislike for Orson hasn’t vanished during the short hiatus, but I’ve accepted the fact that he’s going to stay around longer than I care for.
Robin exposed Gabby and Susan for their different insecurities. For Gabby it was Ana. She’s never liked her and I think it’s because she sees early, pre-kids Gabby in Ana: sexy, vapid and manipulative. Ana is eerily similar to her aunt before she had a more than healthy helping of humble pie, and for the “new” Gabby it’s too much for her to handle, which is great because I was over Ana for a while now. They seem to abandon her initial purpose in the Solis household, or go in a different direction with her, but teens on the Lane always wind up as mere filler -- also it’s best to send her packing, Danny too.

And of course Susan’s issue with Robin is Mike related. Girl, get a grip! Every time you’ve lost your man, it’s kinda been your fault. Susan is the type to destroy a relationship with her personality, we all know this. But just let things be. I get it Susan, you have the catch of all the men on the Lane, and you want to keep him, but chill. As we’ve learned Robin isn’t into the fellas anyway.

Now I’ll admit I was apprehensive about the whole Robin and Katherine budding romance story line. But I like the way it was presented. In the bar with the two pushy and desperate men who ignored Katherine as if she was a glass window, Robin tuned that upside down and showed Katherine that she is a catch, by planting a passionate kiss on her. It wasn’t contrived like other girl-on-girl scenes on television that we see, Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox on “Dirt” comes to mine. It doesn’t work for me, and I realize a certain demographic of males is interested in seeing two women make out, I get it. I just hate it when it’s used to seem “edgy” or to sell an episode, and I hope that isn’t the case here. As crazy as Katherine is, she deserves a suitor she can relate to, especially in regards to feeling isolated in Fairview and someone who is genuinely into her. She can learn a thing or two about herself from Robin, and sure it might not end well -– it never does for Katherine -- judging by the preview for next week it will be one juicy ride.

-- Gerrick D. Kennedy (Follow me on Twitter) RELATED:

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